Thursday, March 31, 2011

奇妙的缘分


这几天,我一直在想“缘分”这东西。它真的是太奇妙了。缘分能让你认识很多不一样的朋友,也可以同时喜欢上一个人。当与对有了触电的感觉,就会开始有一段美妙的感情。往往在过程当中,遇到原来那个是错的人,这一断缘分就到此结束。之后你有得重新寻找另一个对的人,或许他就是你的未来,也或许同样的事情又在发生。结果,你会感到迷路,不知所措,到底该继续还是放弃。然而,这就是上天的安排。他知道我们的一切,却要我们靠自己去寻找那一位对的人。和朋友聊过这话题,她说虽然如此,但至少在我们在这过程当中不断成长,也学会不少东西,人生才不会乏味。上天已安排了一切,谁也不知道谁是谁的未来。看来真的是要耐心等待,结果是如何,到时再说吧。

眼睁睁看着他好像很开心,很幸福。回忆不断出现,我也靠回忆来想念那些甜美的事光。如今事情也来到这个地步,我想是时候摆脱这一切了。藏在心里,淡了。。

♥ Gwendoline

Monday, March 21, 2011

It should be November, not December.


Taylor Swift : And I go back to December all the time...

Me : I'm not Taylor Swift, I want to go back to November 2010 :X.


How I wish this could be come true as it's the best month ever in my life. Impossible wish, I just know it :(. What to do? Hmmmm... I can't even calm down myself in this matter, oh my goodness


♥ Gwendoline

Saturday, March 19, 2011

I'm exhausted.



If only I know the way to get through everything.
I shouldn't be waiting for you to looking back, because I know it's impossible. 
But, why I always think that someday you would do that?
I give myself too many hopes in this matter. 
I wish I can turn back the clock, back to the beginning.
When you're gone, the scenes are rewinding for me to watch back again.
Just let me experience again the connection, memories and feelings we had together.
I would give up anything if this happen to me...


Okay, I'm crapping without a good reason. It was just a thought that won't be in real. Well, I know I have to move on and stay strong. By the way, I can't wait for semester 2 to be end, so that I can go back to Ipoh and rest my mind now. It's too exhausted to continue living in here. I just want to stay away from the place where I get the sadness and pain from. Life is just too tiring sometimes. Because of this loneliness, I suddenly miss my family and friends. Haiz. Aiya, never mind, I gotta do my assignments and watch my movies first :D. heee.


How I wish you were here :(.

♥ Gwendoline


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Just So You Know.



What I need now are just TIME and PATIENT :).


It is just a random post in here, haa. I have nothing to update. Oh ya, by the way, I got a new DSLR now. It's a Canon EOS 600D :D. I bought it in the EXPO'11 Mid Valley last week. Awwwww. It's an awesome DSLR. Yeay! I finally got it. Before this, I also bought a new handphone, which is a red Sony Ericsson Hazel. I'm going to haunt a new IPod and some other cameras as well, maybe few years later. haaa. I have spent so much money in these gadgets. Craziness xD. 


These few days I miss my friends suddenly, no matter Ipoh or NS. I just miss them very much. I didn't meet some of them for quite a long time. Hopefully I can meet them soooooooooooon :). When will it be? haa. I think because the stress I have now makes me want to find friends to talk and chill and laugh. Friends! I miss all of you so much. 






♥ Gwendoline

Monday, March 14, 2011

Pray

Lets pray for the people in Japan, hoping the disaster of Tsunami which brought the suffer and pain to the victims there will stop quickly. Also, no more terrible disaster in the world please, God. In case that there will be more coming soon, can just don't be that cruel? All of us are not sure whether they are the significants of 2012. What we know is the world is changing day by day. People, please do care the Earth now. Start from today :). I realise that I'm not one of the people who really go and care the Earth. we can't just say but no actions. So from now onwards, I'll be more careful. No more wasting food, water, electricity and whatever that can harm our Mother Earth.  3R please! :) (I got influenced by the final project, that's why) :).

♥ Gwendoline

Saturday, March 12, 2011

If?


Time oh time, can you just slow down a bit? I feel like time passes like an aeroplane. Day by day, night by night, and everything I do is the same, it is just like a merry-go-round, repeat the schedule. It's quite boring, however we have to find the enjoyable parts by ourselves. I know that our group and others can do a great job for the final project. What we have to do is relax and enjoy the process. I know we can do it, no worries :). My dear family is coming to KL tomorrow, so I will meet them soon :). hee. Mom said that she will help me to collect the stuff that we need for the final project, what a relieve xD. haa. Just hope that everything will be alright in these 3 weeks. 

"If we could turn back the time, what would the changes be?"

I always have this thinking. I know it's impossible to happen, but it has surrounded in my mind for a long time. Guess it's the reason of "keep holding on" which make me don't feel like want to give up, because I always believe in faith and destiny. Sometimes things didn't turn up like what we expected, no matter how hard we pray and persist. I understand the situation, it's not what I want, but how? I should cry? I should feel angry? No! I'm not that fragile. The answer would be a "yes" if things reverse to 1 month before, or the situation won't be in this way if things reverse to 5 months before, because it was a beginning.  I'm pretty sure that you have your own happiness with her. I'm glad that you had found a girl that you really fall into. So what I can do now is just a wish :). I start not to care those things related to you, and I notice that we talk less and meet less. Both of us know the reason why. I will try my best to help if it's needed as a friend, no more further story. It's exactly 1 month now. Hmmmm. Oh well, just let it be, and I'm okay :). I will appreciate that part of my life. I will enjoy my life in this college. My life won't suck without you.

Dear "if", you may leave now.

♥ Gwendoline

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Busy time.

我努力的让自己好好过,一直都对这件事保持冷静。
但,我知道我始终还是放不开。
藏着那份感情的滋味,你永远都不会明白。
接近一个月的心结,要怎样才可以完全被打开?


We are going to be very busy these few weeks, because of the final project. It's quite stressful, need to think this and that. Sometimes ideas are get rejected then we have to redo again, sometimes lecturers accept our concept we will be like very happy until maximum. This is called college's life. haa. I've learnt that we have to stay strong although there are lots of rough and tough roads to go. Oh well, I know this is a hard time for me (college stuff and personal problem), but it doesn't matter now. I know I can do it, we can do it. All the best for the groups in FDN sem 2 :D. 

Slowly getting through it :).

♥ Gwendoline

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Saved it.


I'm getting better now. hee. I'm glad that I know what is right and wrong, I make this decision to make everyone feels better. So yaa, that's it :). I'll just keep it inside my heart, it has no more existence in our life. I pray for everything to be good and smooth. Yes, it is still hurting a bit, but then at least it's better now. haa. I don't want to care that much, and I believe that she's a nice girl. Although that I'm not sure that whether she knows me or not, I just hope that you guys will be happy. So you will be seeing me fine and nice. I'm absolutely abnormal, but then I'm still rational xD. haa. Maybe sometimes I'll think deeply and become emo. Well, it's just a part of the history, so just let it be. I know I have made a fair and square decision to ask that question, so that we won't get bothered anymore. And see, I'm free from this now :D.

You're just a passerby in my life, that's all.

♥ Gwendoline

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Behind These Hazel Eyes



Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes 




(For me it's a song about my situation now, what a lyrics, what a melody, what a feeling.
And ya, I'm broken. So what? See me, I'll be stronger.)


♥ Gwendoline

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Done!

Okay, I'm enough with it. I already get disturbed for almost 3 weeks. Now, I decided to let it go. I know it's quite difficult, as in the roots of it are so long and deep. I just hope that I can get through this,. I really feel not comfortable. What for I feel the sourness by myself? What for I have to feel the emptiness?  What for I have to face this situation? What for I have to see you in happiness and I'm not? Yaa, the feeling is still staying inside, but trust me, I don't want it to be longer stay now. I really enough with it. You are just not worth for me to have such a feeling. I'm trying hard to control. Time is needed to heal everything. I have the will, and I will do that.

I know even though it is not that hurtful like previously, I still can't accept the reality. I don't know why. Maybe I put too much of emotion into this matter. Understanding the situation, I act like nothing happen. So the one you see through your real eyes are not the real me. The real one always hide herself alone. And you won't see the real one forever because I'm in your blind spot of your eyes.

Well, I just want to wish you happy, that's it. As long you feel that it's good to you, then go ahead, as long as don't ever making me fall down again. Twice are enough, no more the third time. Thank you.

♥ Gwendoline