Friday, June 26, 2009

The Reality!!!!!!!



I really want to run away from reality of my life. I don't want to face those matters anymore. They're stressful and make me feel tension. I hate that!!!!! I just don't understand why some people can say anything they like without knowing the truth. How childish, how useless. Is this the real life??? Maybe the answer is "yes", but I try to pretend nothing happened in life, feel peace and happy. Can't I just escape from the reality? It's full of darkness and lots of evils. Some people didn't realize what situation they are in now, do something that's not related to them. Some people like to say nonsence. Their minds are more childish compared to mine. Hey, wake up!!!! Just understand what you are doing now, please??? Those things they feel not satisfy are actually the main problem made by themselves. I don't want to face them again if I can do so. Reality is the one I understand I have to stay. Hope to escape as soon as possible.
I'm having difficulty to walk these days. Don't know how it become like that, urgh! Near to the day of competition and this happen to me. Well, I will try to walk as normal as I can. Don't worry, I'll be fine. My hands also in pain now, practise too much for yang qin. Last week Sam Tet's Chinese Orchestra held a concert, and it influence me a lot. I know more about how to play yang qin in a smooth style. Thank you for the concert. I've learned a lot from there. Tomorrow, we'll go to Penang for our Chinese Orchestra International Competition. We aim to get 2 gold medals. Maybe it's a bit tuff, we'll try our best to play well. AMCCO 2009, aza aza fighting. Wish us luck.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Changing My Life

Tomorrow is a new semester for my school life.
Yup, another reopen day, another renewing my life.

Previously, I felt I was living in a life with tension and problems.
I hate those things appeared in my life.
I guess it's time for me to change what I'm being now.

From a lazy girl to a hardworking one,
from a moody girl to a happy one,
from a bad-tempered girl to a good one,
from a crying girl to a smiling one,
from a sleepy girl to a energetic one...

I did an essay about changing the facts of history in Malaysia.
After finishing writing, I only realize that not the history need to be changed,
but me myself.
I have to change my bad things,
to make my life feel better...

So, say bye bye

to the previous Gwendoline

Sunday, June 7, 2009

妹妹vs金马仑

没想过一通电话,我的时间被调整了。。。

星期二那天,我像平常一样到学校进行集训练习。妈妈好不容易才答应我,让我去参加槟城的华乐比赛,我想争取练习时间。可惜,Flora要练B队的,盈慧和嘉怡要练6/6的表演,需用到两架琴,再加上form1的juniors有到学校,使我不能好好坐下来练习,还坐在control room里,非常的热。早上时,我和燊柔被罚(迟到),有点点丑啦!之后各自练习,我和juniors一直都在讨论到金马仑的事情,真的很兴奋!有种迫不及待要到那儿玩的感觉。美恩后来也抱进来与我聊天。接近12中午时,妈妈打电话给我,我还蛮好奇地。。。“我看你不能去金马仑了,妹妹生病了,她现在在医院,你必须跟随爸爸到吉隆玻来看看妹妹。。。”

我的脸不知道什么时候被眼泪弄湿了,不顾一切地跑了出去找老师。她们都被我吓坏了,玮葶在后头追我。老师看到我了,也被吓到,一直叫我不要哭。我也不想哭,可是眼泪流了就停不下来。我一边流泪一边告诉老师我不能去金马仑的理由,Whit Ney在旁边听着,她也不知怎么了也跟着我哭,可能她同情我妹妹吧!我看到盈慧、嘉怡,跑到她们那边去,告诉她们我没办法去金马仑的事。她们安慰我,说我们还有机会一起旅行的。对了,槟城!不过,我们去那边比赛,时间很紧抽,根本没时间玩个够。比赛回来后,我们form 5就停止练习了,farewell也在7月进行,还有canteen day, dinner night, SPM trial exam…哪会有时间呢。(到时才算吧)盈慧刚以为老师在骂哭了我。我找晴桦,抱着她哭,她也安慰我。凯欣也被妹妹进院的事吓。后来,我们到食堂吃饭。我告诉嘉怡原本13人的房间,我不在就剩下12个,刚刚好。。。她叫我不要想太多。对,看开点。我还有机会去玩,妹妹也一定会没事的。之后我和燊柔早退。我回家时,马上收拾行李准备到吉隆玻。

我和爸爸大约7点下午到达。我到医院去,看到妹妹辛苦的样子,有点心酸、痛心。她身上插了很多医院里的仪器,她应该不好受吧。我只能在旁边看着她,给她一些支持,每天为她祈祷。之前我还以为我会失去这可爱的妹妹;现在她已退烧,不过还需留院,因为她的呼吸不正常,医生要他用机器的帮助,让她用鼻子呼吸。

我现在还在吉隆玻,星期二才能回家。我不知道我回去后,妹妹几时也会康复回家。现在,我唯一能做的是每天对月亮、星星、太阳、大帝许愿,希望她早日康复。。。。。

她们,在那边都玩得很开心。我有和她们联络,每次和她们聊时,他们都会告诉我那儿发生的趣事,让我不禁地感到好笑,同时也羡慕她们。我曾想过,如果我有在场,事情会是怎样的。。。不过,我想太多也没用,事实是事实,无法改变,毕竟这是我妹妹,一直被家人疼着的妹妹,她有事,我不能不在她身边。我也想过,别人都没介意过,为什么我要这么介意这件事。或许,我就是这样敏感。凡是看开点,我没事了。^^